I love my coffee. I NEED my coffee. The only time I don’t drink my coffee in the morning is if I’m sick or I’ve got the nastiest pregnancy heartburn in the world. My routine is: up by 6:30am or 7:00am (at the latest) and by 9:00am I usually have my usual 2 cups of coffee. Sometimes, if I really really need it to stay sane, I’ll have a third cup before noon.
My dilemma is this:
I never liked coffee before. Not coffee that tasted like coffee anyway. I usually splurged on Starbucks every once in a while, but that was it. Never liked the taste. But over the past couple years….well, actually since Steve died, I’ve taken to not only liking coffee, but needing it. Now, having established my “history of drinking”, I have recently been plagued with thoughts of having to quit. Why? I’m afraid it may affect the baby’s sleep patterns, diet, etc because I plan on exclusively breastfeeding him. I never had this issue with either Hayden or Yvette.
I don’t want to quit. But I will if necessary. My logic is this: I’ve been drinking it throughout this whole pregnancy. Why stop now? Would he go through “withdrawal” with me? If that is the case then it would be best to NOT quit, right?
Twisted logic, but needing some advice……
I have been without an oven since just before New Years. Yes…that would be almost 2 months without an oven. What have I been doing?, you ask. Well, I’ve exhausted every crockpot recipe TWICE. To the point that John told me “NO MORE CROCKPOT.” Thank goodness I had some already made meals in the freezer that only needed to be heated up. We’ve done fried foods, sandwiches, wraps, salads, “brenners” (breakfast for dinner), etc. But now…NOW I have an oven. John figured out what was wrong with it and fixed it!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!
My first meal in the oven was baked fish. Homemade baked fish. Understand that in the past I never successfully made fish in the oven, on the stove, on the grill, or otherwise. But tonight…on Ash Wednesday, I succeeded. And what a success!!!! It was delicious. It was in the oven. And it was a wonderful wonderful feeling to really cook again.
Oh, how I missed my oven. Lent is supposed to be a time of sacrifice and fasting. I’m going to have a hard time NOT baking up a storm…NOT feasting on wonderous foods that we’ve been without. Perhaps the sacrifice can be in extending the deliciousness to others….generosity. Yes….generosity.
After we lost our second baby to miscarriage and less than a year later suffered the excruciating loss of my brother Stephen, I never really thought I’d reach a point of true contentment. I knew that happiness is more a state of mind than a state of being. But with such heartache, one tends to want to wallow in it…find companionship in the sorrow…WITH sorrow. And in those moments it is hard to see oneself outside of it. I had defined myself by my loss. But somewhere…at some moment, God must have trickled in because I don’t remember making any conscience decision to move forward. It just sort of happened. And with that came peace…smiles…and HAPPINESS.
I can say that I am truly truly content with my life.
The pain and heartache will never go away. I will never stop missing them. I will never stop loving them. And there will never be a day that passes where I don’t think of them. But I can be happy. I can be content.
I’d post a picture but I don’t think it would be appropriate.
Hayden is almost completely potty trained with the exception of sleeping times and poops. I think he is scared to poo in the toilet for some reason. ??? I’m told it is normal. ??? Anyway, lately he’ll dash into the bathroom, do his business, then bolt out of the bathroom buck naked screaming “NAKE-EE NAK-EE”. He then proceeds to throw his naked little body on every piece of furniture we have, do somersaults in the middle of the living room, then end the whole charade by attempting a head stand. Where he gets this type of behavior, I HAVE NO IDEA. 😉 But it is entertaining and inappropriate at the same time.
Don’t worry, I’ve resorted to throwing sheets over the couch and wiping down the leather recliner daily. You can visit AND sit on our furniture without hesitation.